I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
