I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
