it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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