I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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