Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
