Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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