lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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