Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
