don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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