I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize