My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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