Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
