Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize