You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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