I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When are your genitals available?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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