I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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