I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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