Me. At least after what I've been through.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
