I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
