I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize