Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize