The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
