So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
