I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
