This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need help removing her.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm like, not good at living.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
