You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
