I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
