she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
