If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize