I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
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I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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