What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
