your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
