Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
