Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
