Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize