I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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