The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
