I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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