I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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