So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize