I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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