i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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