In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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