the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Boobs speak an international language.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
