Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
