I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i think i just lost a toe
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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