He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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