i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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