i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
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