I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
