Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
