I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
MIDGETS
????
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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