Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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