i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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