I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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