I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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