I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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