She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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