i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
