that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
